Living in the dorms at Ohio University or Ohio State, you may have dreamt about how much fun you’d have sharing a four-bedroom house in Athens or Columbus with your three best friends. But the reality of living with several other college-aged people can be quite different from all those gold-plated visions.
Face it; human beings in their late teens/early 20s aren’t at their most responsible point in life. In college, they’re out on their own for the first time, and there’s plenty of temptations to lead them astray. In your rental house or apartment, without mom to do housework, or dad to demand that you help with household chores, things can get very grody very quickly. That’s why it’s important to prepare yourself for living with three or four other people who are just as irresponsible as you are.
Following are some well-meant guidelines to help you navigate communal living in an off-campus house in Columbus or Athens.
Tips for Living With Other College Students
• Talk early and often. Once you know whom you’re living with, start conversations about ground rules for your off-campus house or apartment. If you can’t meet in person, perhaps you can meet on a remote meeting app such as Zoom. Or you can just begin a thread on text, email or instant messaging. First thing, it’s important to persuade your house or apartment mates to buy into the importance of setting ground rules. You won’t get very far without explicit acknowledgment that guardrails are necessary for a successful school year in shared quarters. Likewise with open communications. Once you’ve got your housemates’ buy-in, you can start devising ground rules on such matters as household chores, overnight guests, quiet time, bathroom and kitchen protocol, etc.
• Household chores. Nobody likes to clean the house but unless you’re OK with living in a hog pen, it’s got to be done. Decide how often house-cleaning is necessary (every week, every two weeks, or heaven forbid once a month). Then make a list of specific chores – vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning the bathroom(s), window cleaning. Or else you can divvy up the work room by room. Create a chart showing who is assigned to each chore and when. Once you’ve completed your particular chore, scribble your initials next to that job.
• Learn how to perform household chores. If you have one housemate who’s particularly adept at housework, that person can give a short tutorial on the mechanics of cleaning. It’s not rocket science, though you might be surprised to learn how many college-aged adults have no idea how to run a vacuum cleaner or clean a toilet.
• Agree to maintain collegiality. This may not have sticking power but it can’t hurt. Ask everyone to buy into the idea that being open and courteous with fellow housemates is much superior to the alternative. Once people sharing living quarters lose their trust in one another, and begin reacting defensively to well-meant suggestions, things can fall apart quickly.
• Rules help. If you put together some reasonable and common-sense guidelines for common situations in your multi-bedroom house, you can blame the rules when calling out a housemate for discourteous behavior. An example might be a time limit on bathroom time at high-volume periods such as the morning and before going out in the evening. Another effective rule is asking your housemates to clean their dishes in the kitchen after using, rather than allowing them to stack up. Likewise with the bathroom. Finding a wad of someone else’s pubic hair in the bathtub, or an unflushed toilet, can chip away at the affection and respect you have for your housemates.
• Trash can be a flashpoint. You’ve seen it in other off-campus housing – an overflowing kitchen trashcan that nobody ever takes out. Perhaps you can add this to your household chore chart – take turns taking out the trash. Make sure it’s understood that an important part of trash duty involves replacing the garbage bag. However, since you are technically adults, if you see an overflowing kitchen trash receptacle, and have an extra minute, just take it out yourself. It’s not a difficult or time-consuming job. And if you take it upon yourself to do more than what’s expected, that little bit of moral superiority will feel pretty good.
Food fights. Figure out in the early going how you’re going to manage groceries and meal planning. Will everybody go their own way (the most common set-up in shared off-campus housing), or will you plan communal meals, or some combination? Understand, however, that pooling your resources for groceries is less expensive than each person buying his/her own stuff. You can do it that way while still assuming that folks will be preparing their own meals or perhaps doubling up. If you go with the “every man for himself” strategy, it’s important to employ a workable labeling system so there’s no doubt whose food is whose. Also, make sure you create a grocery list, with each person adding items as they come to mind. It’s a good idea to have you and your housemates agree that grocery items that are unusually expensive or meant just for one person shouldn’t be included in the communal grocery buy, or else that person should add enough extra money to pay for that item.
• Social parameters. This area is potentially more awkward and difficult than the others. Perhaps start with a conversation about how the housemates feel about casual overnight guests and/or significant others staying over. Make it clear that the house is only intended for the four individuals mentioned on the lease, and that girl- or boyfriends are welcome to visit and stay over occasionally but not to become permanent occupants of the rental.
And if All Else Fails
• Be realistic. No matter how well you plan for this temporary living arrangement, the one thing you can depend upon is that it won’t work perfectly and may not work at all. People are different, and those differences can ruin the best-laid plans. When all else fails, go into your bedroom, close and lock the door, and put those earbuds in.